Rewrite the Story That’s Keeping You Stuck
A gentle but powerful shift from spiraling in self-doubt to stepping into quiet clarity
Have you ever been so overwhelmed by something that you let it linger for months instead of taking action to change it?
That was me.
After 15 years in business (currently going on 17), I had a clear idea: build a community focused on slow growth and create a business that fits your lifestyle.
We—my husband and I—have been living location-independently since his retirement. Actually, it is even longer if you count the years we spent RVing from campground to campground.
I had the lived experience. The business skills. The desire.
But then self-doubt crept in.
The “Who am I to do this?” voice got louder.
I talked endlessly about everything I wanted to create but couldn’t make it happen.
I did take steps—I spoke at events about remote work and lifestyle, guested on podcasts and inside workshops, and shared ideas in mastermind hot seats.
I was trying to pivot my personal brand while still running a thriving agency. But I couldn’t figure out how to pivot without burning it all down—or worse, slipping back into the hustle-and-grind mode I worked so hard to escape.
Then I made a decision: 2025 would be the year.
More plans. More big ideas.
Writing? Check.
Creating the HQ home base? Check.
Reviving a YouTube channel to share the wins and losses? Slam on the brakes.
That’s where the overwhelm hit.
Planning. Mapping. Watching others. Learning from influencers.
Cue the spiral: self-doubt again. And with it, inaction.
“People who experience frequent self-doubt often mistrust their own judgments and seek external validation, which can delay decision-making.”
Younger me didn’t hesitate. I tackled everything like a challenge to be conquered.
I wasn’t afraid of looking silly or messing up. I just wanted to figure things out and keep going.
When did that change?
Over the years, with each new phase of life.
Each job taught me something new, and I took action on it. Remote working was exciting—I was an early adopter. With my kids, I tried to be fair and balanced. Starting my business? Everyone was learning as they went.
But with every step forward, a little voice of doubt crept in:
Am I being too loud for the quiet ones?
What if I bet on the wrong tech?
What if I mess up my kids?
What if I fail at this business and have to go back to a job?
That voice—the inner narrator—wasn’t telling the truth. But it sure knew how to slow me down.
It wasn’t that I didn’t have the skills or vision. I just couldn’t stop the inner narrative long enough to trust them.
Struggling To Act, Maybe I’m Not Ready
When you fail or forget to act, it’s often not because you’re unprepared or unqualified—it’s because a quiet story of self-doubt is whispering in the background.
And who can blame you? We’re surrounded by highlight reels, productivity myths, and pressure to “get it right” the first time. Years of being taught to aim for perfection can make any uncertainty feel like failure.
So what happens?
You stall. You tinker. You wait for more clarity, more proof, more validation.
You redesign your brand a third time instead of hitting publish. You re-record a course module instead of launching it. You doubt your offer because it doesn’t look like someone else’s.
That loop of “not yet, not quite, not ready” becomes the story you believe—until you realize the delay isn’t a sign you’re off track. It’s a signal that the story needs editing.
The Moment of Truth: The Shift in Perspective
You realize you used to be fearless and experimental—not because you had some magical clarity, but because you hadn’t yet absorbed all the rules about what was “allowed.”
“Younger me wasn’t afraid to look silly or fail—when did I lose that?”
Sure, there were always expectations, always people watching. But we didn’t yet believe that messing up meant we were broken. We didn’t yet carry the weight of every choice needing to be the “right” one.
That came later—when self-doubt crept in and the need to get it all right stopped us from getting started at all.
Here’s the real turning point:
“I didn’t need to rewrite the whole plan—I needed to rewrite the story I was telling myself about who I had to be to start.”
Once I gave myself permission to start messy, everything shifted. I could move again. I didn’t have to wait for confidence—I could create it through motion.
The New Mindset
The funny thing is that it’s easy to return to that space of ease and experimentation—the version of ourselves that didn’t overthink or hesitate—when we stop judging our motives. When we remember that no one is tracking our every move. It’s all about them. What are they taking away from your journey?
1. Not every delay means doubt—sometimes, it’s protection.
That’s not to say that every time you pause and hesitate, it’s for the wrong reasons. Our nervous systems try to keep us safe when we step into the unknown – protection.
You can be brave and cautious—both can be true. You only need to recognize the differences.
2. The stories you tell yourself aren’t always yours.
Past experience and perceived cultural norms are how we receive many of our inherited beliefs. They come from somewhere, right? Those stories carry a lot of weight, too.
For example, I used to believe that real success looked like a packed schedule and constant visibility—because that’s what I saw growing up and early in my career.
When you pause and ask: “Whose voice is this?”—you get clarity. You start to realize that the need for change can be our driver.
3. Clarity doesn’t always look like confidence.
There are times when the best path forward feels the quietest. Funneling through information and noise can be why we fail to act.
You don’t need to feel bold to take a bold step—just present. Sometimes, it’s best to pause, take a breath, and tune into what feels true—not loud, not urgent, just aligned.
Living This Mindset: Real-World Impact
This shift didn’t just change how I thought—it changed how I moved.
Business Decisions: I stopped waiting for the “perfect plan” before building my community. I gave myself permission to experiment, to write before everything was figured out, and to publish without obsessing over every sentence. That momentum built trust—in myself and in the process.
Client Relationships: I let go of the tendency to over-deliver to prove my worth. That created space for more grounded, mutually respectful collaborations. I began attracting people who resonated with my actual energy—not its performance.
Personal Wellbeing: The anxiety that once lingered like background noise quieted down. Trusting my own timing brought calm. Comparison lost its edge because I no longer measured my pace against someone else’s timeline.
Long-term Vision: Instead of sprinting toward visibility or growth, I chose sustainable momentum. I’m building slowly, intentionally, and with enough space to enjoy the view—not just reach the destination.
Overcoming Resistance to Change
Change isn’t easy or fast—real change, anyway. However, we are resistant to meaningful change for several reasons, all of which start with self-doubt.
- “But I don’t know if I can trust myself yet…”
→ Reframe: What small decision could you make today just to practice? - “What if I start and still fail?”
→ Reframe: What if you succeed at being fully yourself, even if the results are different than expected? - “I don’t want to look foolish.”
→ Reframe: What if ‘foolish’ is just another word for visible, vulnerable, and alive?
Invitation to Reflect
Take a few moments, sit and reflect, or journal your thoughts to help clear the cobwebs of self-doubt and get back to curiosity and action.
- What’s one story you’ve been telling yourself that you’ve never questioned?
- Whose voice do you hear when you doubt your next move?
- What would change if you believed you already had enough to begin?
- What feels like clarity, even if it doesn’t look dramatic?
Try this instead:
Pick one decision you’ve been hesitating on—big or small. Say it out loud as if you’re already in motion. Notice how it feels in your body. Does it feel like a relief? Tension? Resistance? Let that physical feedback guide your next step.
The Bigger Journey
Mindset shifts, no matter how big or small, rarely show up with fanfare. Some sneak in quietly, others flicker and fade before we recognize them. But they’re always nudging us toward truth if we’re willing to pause and listen.
You’re not broken or behind—you’re just moving through a story that doesn’t quite fit anymore. Maybe it never did.
So rewrite it. One honest thought. One tiny step. One bold breath at a time.
And if you need someone to hold space while you rewrite the next chapter—you know where to find me.
P.S. This article touches on the first phase of a framework I’ve been quietly developing behind the scenes—SHIFT. It starts with SEE: noticing the stories you’re telling yourself before you can change them. More on the full SHIFT process soon, but for now, just begin where you are—with awareness.